i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
