wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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