Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Randomize
