So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
