I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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