So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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