He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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