my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
