I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
