Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
