words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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