And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
