How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
