Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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