Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
