I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
