Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
