He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
