Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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