By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
