I accidentally burped into my bong.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
