Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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