Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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