I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
