dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
