I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
