I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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