Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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