I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
