So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
