whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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