okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
