god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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