We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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