My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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