And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
