I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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