no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
