I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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