She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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