i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think im going to throw up on grandma
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
