That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
don't judge my taste in strippers
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
