drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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