Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
