I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
