i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
