Its about making memories worth repressing
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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