I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
