i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
