how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
