hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
