Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize