Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
