Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
