I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
