Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
