a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
