we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
