I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
