I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
